YOUR PROFESSIONAL WEDDING SPECIALIST

It has been said that getting married without pre-marital counseling is like starting a business without having a business plan.  Love is a natural process but getting to know your new bride or groom as a lifetime partner might take some work.  To get this work done, you might need some tools to help you along.  This is where pre-marital counseling can come in handy.   

A marriage preparation class, workshop or coordinator can offer you skills, habits, and enrichment techniques that research shows lead to happy and long-lasting relationships.   This type of counseling should be looked on as education.  You’re learning how to work together in your new role as husband and wife.   

Marriage preparation classes are encouraged by the State of Florida and successful completion in an approved program can earn you a discount on your marriage license fee.  Special Event Solutions encourages this helpful step in the marriage process.  If you’re looking for a qualified provider, please give us a call or send and email.  We’re happy to offer referrals. 

Wedding Coordinating Services Are Important 

As a professional wedding coordinator, I recognize that our profession has come a long way as an industry.  We are better trained than ever before, have wider recognition than ever before and are sought out more than ever before.  Our services can range from “Day of Event” coverage to full service coverage.  Almost every bride can afford coordinating services on some level.  Still, I am surprised by the fact that some brides decline this very important service.   

After almost ten years of event coordinating, I wanted to share the top five reasons why brides have told me they don’t need a coordinator.   

1. “No thank you.  We don’t need a coordinator.  The hotel/venue includes a coordinator.” 
2. “It’s a small wedding.  We’ve already done all the work.”
3. “We can’t afford a coordinator.”
4. “My mom is taking care of everything.”
5. “I am a project manager by profession so I know what I’m doing and don’t really need the help”.

There are other reasons to decline coordinating services but these are the top five that I have heard multiple times.  I’d like to share my experience with anyone thinking that they don’t need a wedding coordinator for the above reasons.   

1. Most venues such as hotels, function halls or museums, don’t have professionally trained wedding coordinators on their staff.  They do, in some cases, have a staff member that may be assigned to weddings so they could have the word “wedding” or “coordinator” as a part of their title.  Don’t be misled by this.  This person is probably professional and personable but is this way because they do a great job of representing their venue.  Ask questions.  Ask the person you are assuming is a “wedding coordinator” if they will produce a timeline of events for your day?  Ask if they will review your vendor contracts or usher guests, pin boutonnieres and corsages?  Ask how much ceremony outline experience they have?  Finally, the most important question is; what happens if on your wedding day – for whatever reason, the venue is short staffed.  Will that person still be guaranteed to give you and your guests their undivided attention?  Are they prepared to put all of this in writing as a part of your contract?  Typically, a venue that does not employ a professional wedding coordinator (in the traditional sense of the word); will recommend that you hire a coordinator.  Some even offer discounts for a professional coordinator.  Ask the right questions of your venue because your wedding day isn’t the day you want to realize that you have misunderstood or been mislead on services and responsibilities.
2. Regardless of the size of your wedding, you have to eventually be the bride and groom.  Your family would like to enjoy the day with you as a family member should.  Errands still have to be run, vendors still need guidance and you still need to be relaxed (as much as possible).  Bottom line is that you need an extra set up hands.  It helps if those hands are trained and experienced in your particular event – a wedding.   A professionally trained wedding coordinator can bring calm to your storm and with proper communication and well-developed timelines, your day will be the pleasant memory of tradition and romance you’ve always dreamed it should be.
3. If you’re on a tight budget, you really can’t afford not to have a coordinator.  A professionally trained coordinator should be sought out in the beginning of the process so that they can help you develop a budget plan that is realistic for you.  Try asking your coordinator for a package deal. Through preferred vendors and repeat business, sometimes a wedding coordinator can put together a ceremony and reception that might cost you more if you tried to contract the vendors separately and on your own.  At Special Event Solutions, we make it a policy to roll any vendor kick backs offered to the bride in the form of a discount to the services she contracted from that vendor.  Ultimately, the idea is that the coordinator can save you costly mistakes, find economical ways to make your dreams a reality and utilize their vendor contacts to find you the best vendors and venues at the most economical prices. 
4. Mom is Mom and she’s going to do everything she can to make your day perfect.  She won’t want to say no but she shouldn’t have to either.  Your wedding day shouldn’t be the day she has to wear multiple hats.  She shouldn’t be the decorator, chef, chief errand person and coordinator too.  This is a day that is special.  Let her enjoy you.  Give her special time with you.  Plan a massage or pedicure together.  Have lunch in the park.  Take time to just talk.  Hire someone to manage the details.  It’s fun for you and Mom to lay out the plan, but on wedding day, hire a wedding coordinator to manage the details.
5. If you’re a project manager or event coordinator by profession – You, more than anyone else, should realize that an event is busiest on the day it’s happening.  There is no other event like a wedding.  There is lot’s of emotion tied up into every detail.  Do you really want to spend your wedding day managing details or enjoying every detail?  Let go, hire a professional wedding coordinator and be the bride!

There are a host of reasons to say you don’t need a coordinator but with all the time you spend planning your day, why wouldn’t you take the extra step to make sure that your day is as perfect as it can be.   

  Wedding Day Insurance 

Wedding Day Insurance is just what is says.  An insurance policy that you can purchase that covers your wedding day plans.  In case of a misfortunate incident such as missing vendors, illness, injury, weather delay or a missing minister, your cost to reschedule your event can be offset by have wedding day insurance. 

Wedding Day Insurance is relatively inexpensive.  You should plan to spend anywhere between $150 to $500, depending on the coverage selected.    The decision to purchase insurance is a good one.  Especially with the recent changes in weather we have been experiencing in our region.  Consider the average cost of a wedding is somewhere around $20,000.  If any one thing happens and you have to reschedule all of your vendors again, could you afford to do so? 

There are many providers for this service.  Special Event Solutions encourages it’s brides to take advantage of Wedding Day Insurance.  Whoever your provider is, make sure to read the small print.  Know what you’re paying for and weigh your options. 

  Elizabeth’s Etiquette

Have You Ever Wondered Why… 

·                 Does a bride carry a handkerchief?

In rural America, early farmers thought that a bride’s wedding day tears meant that rain would come for their crops.  It has also been said that if a bride cries tears of joy on her wedding day, she won’t have to shed another tear for her marriage.  The handkerchief makes it possible for a bride to pass along her tears from mother to daughter or from one generation to another.

·                    Do the bride and groom go on a honeymoon?

In the early days, brides weren’t always taken by choice.  The groom would take the bride to a secret location (usually for about thirty days) to hide from searchers.  While they were gone, they would drink of honey brew and hence the word honeymoon came about.

·                    Do attendants dress alike?

Many, many years ago the bride and groom would walk to the church with all their friends.  So that anyone wishing bad luck or misfortunes on the bride and groom would be thrown off and unable to identify the true bride and groom, they all dressed alike.  The ladies dressed like the bride and the men dressed like the groom.  It was a disguise of sorts.  In more recent times, the wedding party dresses alike for pageantry.

·                    Why do we have a groom’s cake?

The grooms cake is the smaller cake that is served during the reception.  In olden days, unmarried young women would take a piece of the grooms cake home and put it under their pillows and according to old wives' tales, they would marry whomever they dreamed of that night. 

CULTURAL CORNER 

Filipino Wedding Traditions 

In the Filipino tradition, the groom and his parents take part in the proposal.  Together they visit the bride’s parents and ask for her hand in marriage. This is called the pamanhikan.  During this meeting the group typically discusses the wedding budget and guest list.  As part of the approval process, the groom may take part in family household chores or errands to seek approval from the bride’s parents.  This is known as paninilbihan.   If the answer is yes, out of respect, the newly engaged couple visits the elders in the family and announces their engagement. 

On the wedding day, traditional bridal garb consisted of a colorful dress that symbolized the festivity of the day.  The groom would wear a barong tagalong which is the traditional formal wear for a groom.  It is a silky thin fabric and looks like an embroidered shirt.  Black pants would accompany the barong tagalong.  In the last century, western influence in the Philippines has made it acceptable for brides to wear a white dress and men to wear a tuxedo. 

Most Filipino weddings are Catholic but still hold on to traditional customs such as:

·        Sponsors – this would be god parents or very close relatives that act as witnesses to the marriage. 

·        Candle lighting – is similar to the unity candle lighting of the west.  A candle sponsor would light two candles (one for each family).  These two candles would be used by the bride and groom to light a single candle that symbolizes their joining of two families and the light of Christ in their new marriage together.

·        Veiling – is when two sponsors place a sheer fabric over the bride and groom as they kneel together.  This symbolizes that the two people are forever clothed as one.

·        Yugal – is a decorative silk cord that is draped over the couple’s shoulder in the shape of a figure eight.  This symbolizes everlasting fidelity. 

·        Arrhae – are the thirteen coins given by the groom to the bride.  These coins have been blessed by the priest as a sign of the groom’s dedication to the bride’s well-being. 

Finally, in the Filipino tradition feasting is always elaborate.  There is no one particular customary meal.  It’s just important to have plenty of courses and remember that presentation is equally as important as taste!